Whether running a multinational company or struggling with intense competition, business leaders are faced with many pressing issues day in and day out.

How top-level managers deal with these pressures affects everyone in the organization.

Today’s leaders are being encouraged to play to their strengths without paying attention to their weaknesses.  But their personal constraints can create volatile situations. 

Many executives are over-confident, too harsh, quick to anger, unable to listen to advice, and at times, have total disregard for rules and regulations, believing they are above reproach. '

In his new book, The Flip Side, Flip Flippen, psychotherapist, business coach, and founder of The Flippen Group shares secrets from three decades of consulting with key executives.

He reveals how he helps them identify their weaknesses and overcome their personal constraints. 

“Being successful is being able to see past your private agenda,” says Flippen.  “Successful business leaders must learn how to minimize their behavioral weaknesses while maximizing their strengths.”

Flippen has identified the top 5 constraints for executives along with concrete strategies for how a person can change if that is one of their personal issues.  These include:

• Bulletproof – Overconfident, dismisses feedback, stubborn, poor listener
  · The executive can start asking for feedback from someone with a strong personality.  The executive will determine a couple of questions that are targeted to areas he is working on (for example, “Have I appeared stubborn recently?” or “Have I been tending to people enough recently?”) and will have someone grade him on a 1 to 10 scale each week.  If the executive receives a score less than 10, he will simply reply, “Thank you.  What would be your suggestions on how I can improve?”
  · The executive will stop being perceived as overly opinionated.  For example, when discussing a topic that he disagrees with someone regarding on, the executive will start listening even better by trying to truly understand his or her feelings and opinions, instead of mentally working on a rebuttal.
• Iceberg – Overly critical, not relational, faultfinding, less encouraging
  · The executive will stop expecting too much from people.  The high expectations for others can create the perception that the executive is difficult to please.  When the executive is too hard on someone, she will apologize even if she thinks they are being hypersensitive.  The executive will identify three people and ask them, “Are my expectations difficult to meet?” and if they say yes, the executive will apologize and affirm them.
  · The executive will stop giving people feedback that wasn’t asked for.  Instead of being the feedback police, she will be willing to let others who know the person say some of those things, otherwise they may be further seen as a critic.  The executive will also have the patience to realize that she might not always be right so it may be worth holding back an opinion for now.
  · The executive will start watching personal body language more closely.  She will be more expressive and positive in comments and tone, without crossing arms or furrowing eyebrows.  It never hurts to smile!
• Impulsiveness – No self-control, reckless decisions, combative, attacking
  · The executive will stop letting discussions escalate and become tense, committing to the fact that if he is defensive then it is his fault, not someone else’s.  If the only way the person can make the point is to talk louder, then he is obviously not communicating well.  The executive needs to be able to communicate calmly and to realize that when he is explosive that there is always damage.
  · The executive will finish what he starts.  He will get more energy from new ideas than from ideas that have been in place, but quite often my new ideas end up being at the expense of something valuable and effective.  He will make more statements such as, “If the timing isn’t right on this, I am more than happy to table it for now.”  And will ask the people he interacts with the most this question once a week: “Have I been changing directions too quickly?”
• Bulldozer – Pushy, controlling, dominant
  · The executive will start taking a step back in group interactions at times. If she has an opinion, he will hold the thought and see if anyone else steps up to express a similar perspective.  Instead of clarifying his position, she will focus on asking more reserved people what their thoughts are, being willing to say things such as, “No, you go ahead, I insist.” The executive will avoid interrupting other people or finishing their sentences. [She will designate a specific person to watch and hold him accountable during a few interactions.]
  · The executive will start getting more buy in from those around him.  To avoid being perceived as pushy, she will become further aware of the tendency to take charge and will intentionally step back and observe more.  She will avoid seeing a decision as black or white and will try to better understand how others are feeling about the decision, as opposed to just thinking about the facts.
  · The executive will start getting more feedback on how she is perceived by others. For example, at the end of a meeting she could ask someone, “Did I listen well and participate proportionally?  Or could ask someone who she works closely with, “Do you feel like I’m overcontrolling at times?  Do I ever micromanage you?”  [She will have someone give him feedback once a week on a specific question like one of these.]
• Ostrich – Has insecurities, hypersensitive, second-guesses himself or herself
  · The executive will stop taking things too personal.  Feedback is just information, so he needs to stop attaching so much emotion to it. 
  · He will start seeing failure as a stepping stone instead of an anchor.  It’s his choice, and he will choose to look forward not backward.
  · He will stop being perceived as overly need for affirmation from others.  If someone withholds their approval, he will step back and objectively decide that he can still move forward, whether it’s a parent, boss, friend, or peer.

Flippen believes that “Personal growth is not personal.  It is about those you serve, those you love and those you lead.  Do the process—the people in your life are worth it.” 

These strategies can help leaders look at their own constraints and work to change them, which will affect not only their own personal success, but also the success of everyone that they lead.

Flippen's company can be found at www.flippen.com.